Man Marries Horse In California, Press Is Shocked.

Same-sex, different-genus couple waited decades

 

Mredwilbur

 

 

STUDIO CITY, LOS ANGELES

The entertainment world is reeling after one-time TV personalities Wilbur Post and Mister Ed announced their marriage this past weekend at a press conference. “After 40 years in a committed, loving relationship, Mister Ed and I decided it was time to tie the lariat” said Mr. Post to the stunned reporters.

Mister Ed withheld comment.

The aging actor and his gelding companion have been living together for decades, chosing to keep their relationship private. After Judge Vaughn overturned Proposition Eight in federal court last summer,  the interspecies couple decided it was time to come out of the stall. “And the Proposition didn’t say anything about animals, did It?” winked Mr. Post.

Long-time TV friends, Lassie and Timmy, stood to the side as the human-equine couple shared the news.

 

Lassie-and-timmy

Timmy told reporters that he and Lassie hoped to marry some day as well, but they were shopping for better health care first. “Many providers cover domestic partners, but we can’t find one that covers worms.”

 

Related news: Hollywood’s preeminent orifice, Perez Hilton, is gushing about the rumor of a Golden Girls  group wedding next month. “A lesbian, polyamorous and necrophilic marriage! No one in Hollywood has one of those. Ooooo! Leave it to Betty to round out her FANTASTIC 2010!”

 

Radically Overdeliver!

Ewastedell

 

I’ll start this story by telling you I am not an engineer and I have little patience for wires and boxes. But I always try to fix things myself rather than take them to someone else. I’m not inept, but I am impatient.

About ten years ago I took it upon myself to add more memory to the home computer. It was a Dell desktop running Windows 98. It wasn’t hard to take the metal casing off, locate the memory slot and snap the new memory card into the chassis. But I ran into trouble when it came to putting it back together. The screws holding the case to the frame were very small and I could not rethread them. Looking at all the other screws in the chassis, I could see they were all very, very short. Only a machine could precisely drive those itty-bitty screws into place. Fumble-fingered John could not.

Oh, were there a lot of blue words from yours truly! An hour later I gave up and duct-taped everything together.

Dell made those short screws to cut cost. They were barely adequate enough to hold the computer together and ship it to the customer. If they were just a few millimeters longer I could have finished my project in ten minutes. Calling Dell, I was told I could ship it back to them for reassembly (at significant cost to me).  Bah! I used 3M Duct tape to affix the case as best as I could. Next year, I bought a new computer, an Apple eMac, swearing to never buy another Dell product again.

That old eMac survived two teenaged boys and is still working today. No problems in all the years I have had it. In fact, I’m composing this blog on it, now.

There are so many problems when you optimize right up to a line. A min-max way of thinking may be a short-term approach that stymies a bigger picture. ‘Good’ customers are repeat buyers who recommend your products. They don’t buy again if you offend them. “Of course,” you say, you don’t want to infuriate your customers. But what about the other people you serve in your lives? Your friends? Your co-workers? Your corporate clients? Minimalizing their needs is really marginalization. Like customers, they take note, and also like customers, refuse to ‘purchase’ from you again. They will bypass you and subvert your relationship.

Seth Godin blogged about this last week. Titled “The Least I Could Do,” he argues “what’s the most you could do” is a cheap and effective marketing technique.

Perhaps it’s an effective relationship technique, too?