‘Winter Night’ (Mucha, 1920)
Winter is the dominant season Minnesota. Allow me to prove it:
- January-February are ‘Deep Winter,‘ a time when you pray for days above 10F. Cars scream when started. Skin splits. Static arcs across a room.
- March is ‘Normal Winter,’ a mild season people in semi-tropical places like New Jersey would call ‘Winter.’
- April is Post-Winter, a period of gentle blizzards.
- May-June are ‘Spring.’
- July is ‘Summer.‘
- August-September are known here as ‘Autumn.’
- October is ‘Pre-Winter,’ a period like Post-Winter when King Boreas shakes a few flakes on our heads.
- And November-December is ‘Winter We Like Because It Is Christmas Time.’
That’s SEVEN months of Winter! Most of the year is cold and crappy in Minnesota.
What the hell am I doing here?
Our five-day forecast. This is called “normal.” Ugh
“I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.”
— Bill Watterson