Yes, I buy my clothes from Target
Okay, you’re in your prime: you have a (mostly) good head of hair, the zits are gone and your clothes look good on you. But maybe your pants are feeling a little tight. Or, you look at your father and worry that you’ll get an Extendo-Gut like he has.
The twenties is the time of life when the flab creeps under man’s belt, fills out his face and makes him soft-looking. Oh, it won’t happen quickly – just a few lbs a year – but when you’re 30, you may be overweight with man boobs, squishy arms and experience the possibility you’ll never see your Little Buddy again. Modern life does that.
I’m in my fifties now. I decided in my twenties to keep a masculine silhouette. I wanted to move like a young man when I was an old man, to avoid old-age disease and look better than the middle-aged men I knew.
I figured out how to avoid a thick waist and I want to share my tips with you. Here’s what you have to do:
- Be thin. Seriously. Start out thin and you can maintain; try to reduce and you’ll fail. There, I said it: you cannot lose weight and keep it off. In all my years I have seen maybe a handful of guys lose weight permanently. Your real goal is to stay where you are and keep from gaining. If you are ten lbs heavier now than you want to be, just accept that’s where you will stay. Your body has adjusted to the extra weight; in fact, it wants it to stay. That’s the way human physiology is; it hoards man-lard for tough times.
- Exercise a lot. You need at least 200 minutes a week of sweaty, heart-pounding, continuous exercise for the rest of your life. Each block must be at least 20 minutes long and you should split it at least over four days each week. Allow one non-exercise day. Golfing isn’t this kind of exercise. Brisk walking won’t do anything at all. That’s what they tell old people to do because that’s all they can do. Look, we’re designed to run after deer, throw spears and heave boulders, all day, every day. Get Cro-Magnon!
- No Beer. Sorry, but this has to be said. Beer makes men fat. Period. If you want alcohol, drink a glass of wine or a single mixed drink. Young-You may burn off beer calories now, but the Older-You won’t.
- No dieting. This also makes men fat. The seesaw of weight-loss plans will make you unhappy. Fatter, too, because your body will think it’s starving; it will work even harder to store calories for you.
- No fake foods. No supplements. No sports drinks. No crap from GNC or the kiosk inside the gym. Your body won’t know what to do with it. It’s really fertilizer for people. Think I’m kidding? What’s that grayish metallic residue at the bottom of the glass?
- Wear a belt. Don’t use a weight scale. Set the notch to where you are now; that is your new life-goal. You and I both know how easy it is to trick the scale. But the belt never lies.
- Mix up your exercise. Do weights, the sweaty stuff and yoga. Weights improve your muscle-to-jiggly fat ratio, and they make you leaner and more resilient. As far as I am concerned, bigger biceps are merely a byproduct of weight training, not the main purpose. Yoga is important for balance and being limber. I’ve seen weight lifters who groan getting out of a chair. I’ve seen runners who can’t carry a bag of groceries. You’re not meant to be a One Trick Pony. Be an all-rounder.
- Be consistent. Yeah, yeah. You MUST make exercise a routine, something you must do and feel bad about missing. Of all my tips, this may be the most important – and the hardest to attain.
- Come from a skinny family. Okay, I’m being flippant — a little. Genetics does play a role, but it’s not the major one. But you must honestly assess how you were brought up and what kind of life habits you picked up from your family. Discard the bad ones right now.
- Eat out rarely… eat home-cooked food … at regular times. Restaurant food will plump you up in no time. Learn to cook. Live by yourself? Then get this book: Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution. It has simple recipes of easy, delicious meals.